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Most People: Oh no a record cold snap! It’s so cold! make sure you keep warm as you can, it’s really cold!

Me, A Werewolf, Apparently: *wakes up at six in the morning to a horribly hot bed* why is my room so fuckin hot I guess I’m not sleeping anymore

My Coworkers: OMG did you walk here? Get a ride home if you can!

Me, Some Kind Of Werewolf-Polar Bear Hybrid: Yeah okay? *makes no effort to find a ride, walks home without even properly adjusting my scarf to cover my chin* idkwtf they’re talking about my chin’s not even numb

Me, A Werewolf, To My Sister: omg I couldn’t sleep it was too hot did someone sneak into my room and bleed the radiator? ugh I need my air bubble

My Sister: Must have been a ghost

Me, An Increasingly Ticked-Off Werewolf: *wakes up at six in the morning the second night in a row* goddamn I’m not even wearing proper pyjama pants this time *reaches over to the radiator* yes that is a fully functional radiator and I am not getting anymore sleep tonight *opens window, covers radiator with a thick towel and a bunch of other linens* Ghost You May Have Meant Well But You Ruined Everything. You Are On Notice For The Tragic Waste Of Heating Oil That Is Me Sleeping With My Window Open For The Coldest Nights Of The Year And The Rest Of The Winter. I Have A Radiator And It’s Called Me. Bitch You Better Be Ready For Ghost V. Werewolf