I'm gonna give this blog a little more attention.

 TBH I've been narrating my life to my current Discord group instead of on a blog, and the server feels as if it's about to become more of a "check in occasionally and say hey" place? It was good to be involved heavily in Discord when the tumblr shit went down, but in the long run I really do think I'm more of a blog person. 

I've still been posting cool things to tumblr when I write them, since I feel like I still have a little bit of an established audience there, although tbh most of the audience engagement comes from my mom and sister, who would totally start reading me here instead if I asked.

I'm feeling a little unmoored in fandom, since the craziness that has been getting into Voltron right before the release of season 6 in the year when seasons 6, 7, and 8 all got released and all caused their particular kinds of drama, and in particular Season 8 giving a serious blow to the emotional state and therefore cohesiveness of the fanbase. I only managed to dodge the emotional hit most of the way by becoming deeply involved in polyshipping four of the minor characters in the meantime. But that is a teeny tiny community, and a lot of them were heavy hit by events in the major ships as well.

Thankfully, I'm also deeply involved in writing one of my novels right now - Chloe Unearthed. Sunflowers Blooming Book 2, the sequel to Tabitha. I'm excited about it, but also I'm even less sure than I was how to attempt to build a following. Tumblr has been my primary community for so long, and now I feel as if I don't want to rely too much on it, especially for my works of romantica, like the Sunflowers Blooming series.

I haven't even really done any promotion for the book I've been putting the finishing touches on, The Movrekt Warmongers, which is Book 2 in the Half-Dragon series. I'm hoping to have it ready for an official release within the first week of February. Mostly I've been too busy, what with the new full-time day job, but it's also a complicated book for me, personally.

Think I'll save describing that mess for another post, though.

I also need to buy myself an actual domain and some hosting and build myself an actual website, now that I have the money and motivation to do something more official than a side tumblr. And I need to finally buy a smart phone, so I can mobile-test my stuff.

Anyway, yeah, I'm being pulled in a lot of different directions and I really need to settle down and build a new mental home base, and I'm feeling like it's gonna be here.

This is the real queer agenda:

 I will go to work every day and I will do my job well. I will make friends with my coworkers, make friendly conversation of no consequence, let them share their apple with me at lunch, laugh when I find their jokes funny.

When I don’t, I will bite my tongue and pretend I didn’t hear, because I don’t know yet what would be safe to say if I want to keep my job, if I want to keep their respect.

I will share the load of the workday, share in their complaints and woes, accept their help and their concern, and help and support them in turn, when I can.

Then, some day, months from now, years from now, if the subject comes up in an open and curious way, I will say this:

“Actually, Jim, I’m queer. I don’t experience love/attraction/gender the way people expect me to. I have a different experience.”

If they still consider me a friend, if they still share and support and try to make me laugh, if they still respect me and wish me all the best, then.

Mission accomplished.