my shithole apartment and assorted problem housemates: an overview

 So I moved here because I was in a very big hurry to leave my last place which I could no longer afford. I needed the cheapest and most conveniently located place I could possibly manage, so this place looked great. One bedroom of three sharing one bathroom and a fair-sized kitchen with all the essentials.

It was actually pretty great over the summer, when my contacts for the place, J&B, still lived in the front room. They were very friendly and kind and considerate, if slightly flaky. We managed a decent balance wherein I did the chores that are necessary for my sanity: took out the trash, kept the shower cleanish and did my share of the dishes; they picked up after themselves and kept everything else from becoming a complete disaster. 

Upstairs roommate mostly kept to himself, although he did socialize with J&B now and again. We were both circling each other warily, trying to get a feel for how our politics would be received, and eventually lost patience, which culminated in the "institutional racism: fact or fiction" incident, with sea-lioning on his part and subsequent screaming and slamming of doors on mine. Since then, we have been incredibly, coldly civil to each other. This seems to be much harder on him than it is on me, since he is a very lonely person (gee, I wonder why no one wants to have deep meaningful conversations with you. That's a real head-scratcher.) I can survive his whinging, and he even manages to pay his share of the bills. Living with upstairs housemate is perfectly acceptable. 

Then J&B moved out, and the vampires moved in. 

Vamp A was commended to me by J as "cool, gay, smokes pot" which sounded fine. Then she mentioned in passing that his boyfriend, Vamp B, would also be moving in. Okay, whatever. Things seemed to work out okay with two people in the front room before. 

The vampires spend extended sessions in the bathroom, make all kinds of noise (arguing, sex, etc), cook things in the oven and forget about them and fill the house with smoke, all in the wee hours of the morning. They cannot pick up after themselves to save their lives. Under their influence, the resident mice have gone from "slightly bothersome but mostly under control" to "It's an all-you-can-eat buffet! Quick! Shit all over everything!"

Also the vampires steal food and soap and clog the drains and leave the front door unlocked and have yet to pay their share of the bills.

Since I now (finally) have a full-time job that actually pays enough to live off of plus enough to toss into pits when I feel like it, and since I have a very limited number of social spoons, I have not found it worthwhile to confront them about any of this. I did, however, once call the cops on them. 

There was a very loud bang and a lot of desperate screeching and scuffling, and I was honestly afraid that there had been a gunshot and someone had gotten hurt. Afterwards I was led to believe by Vamp A that this was all the work of Vamp B and a very heavy shelf falling over, and upstairs roommate seemed to come out of the conversation with the impression that Vamp B was no longer in residence, although I'm not sure what led him to believe that. I had assumed that he was basing the impression on some earlier part of the conversation that I was not witness to, but since I have seen Vamp B lurking around recently, pretending not to be here, I'm guessing upstairs roommate was mistaken or lied to.

Upstairs roommate has also tried to institute a cleaning schedule, which I would be fine with, except for the fact that when I began writing this post, I was the last one to have signed off on all four of the jobs that are supposed to be done equally, in rotation. Upstairs roommate has since begun cleaning the bathroom, although so far this seems to mostly have involved digging through everyone else's shit and knocking on our doors to go "Is this yours or can it get tossed?"

So, you know, whatever.

Downstairs is P, who hosts band practice at odd times. Night before last at ten thirty, for example. It's been later, but not, thank fuck, with that same kind of shakes-the-house combo of drums and reverb. Still, it's not ideal for someone who lives above him and works firs shift in a warehouse.

P also occasionally fails to pay the electric bill, which means the shared dryer in the basement fails to work. That hasn't been a problem lately, though. What has been a problem is that I'm not sure if he has ever once taken his own garbage to the curb.

It just seems to sit in and beside the other trash can by the side of the house, next to our trash can, and get torn into by animals and strewn about. Lately it's been building up on his back porch, as well.

That can't be helping with the mice.

Occasionally I will drag both cans out to the curb, along with whatever relatively intact bags are sitting beside them (and it's not like there isn't room inside the cans, you understand, there is room inside the cans) but like, this is not my job. Even if I consider the upkeep of the upstairs apartment a responsibility of mine, P's trash has no part of that. So I don't feel the need to do any more than that. Certainly no need to drag several torn-open garbage bags off of P's back porch and to the curb.

Now, on the other side of the duplex lives the landlord and his family. They do nothing. This is pretty much the worst thing they could do. Well, they hired someone to clean up the yard, once. They also store shit on our side of the porch. So. They're tolerable, except in that they are far too tolerant. Also going on info from J&B I don't know if they would come and fix stuff that wasn't totally urgent even if I asked, so I usually don't. 

Anyway.

I would kind of like to move again soon, now that I actually make enough to potentially afford my own place, but I am enjoying being able to spend my money on all the little things I've kept saying "I'm totally buying that when I have money" about for the last six years. Also I do not have the time. Or energy. To move again right now. But hey, if something comes up, I'm gonna see if I can make it work.